Thinking back on it, now, the main thing that comes to mind is how goddamn hot he was. Not the fact that even after he made the effort to get me because it was him who wanted me, he acted like he was doing me a favor. Complaining about how far it was to mine.
It isn't the fact that it was terrible.
It isn't the fact that he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. Something I only found out about later, when I asked a friend why Paul was friends online with everyone but me.
It isn't the fact that he told me to friend him that day I ran into him in my neighborhood. That he insisted he would accept this time, even after I told him he was an asshole for not accepting me before. Only to once more be ignored.
It isn't the holding his coat in the club only to be ditched and waiting.
It isn't the walking by me hand in hand with his girlfriend only to give me a curt nod and pinched smile. A look of ohpleasegoddon'ttellherifuckedyou on his ugly face.
It isn't the fact that he hit on me every time I saw him and somehow convinced me he wasn't really an asshole after all.
It isn't that he treated me like shit.
It's that he was really goddamn hot.
It isn't the fact that it was terrible.
It isn't the fact that he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. Something I only found out about later, when I asked a friend why Paul was friends online with everyone but me.
It isn't the fact that he told me to friend him that day I ran into him in my neighborhood. That he insisted he would accept this time, even after I told him he was an asshole for not accepting me before. Only to once more be ignored.
It isn't the holding his coat in the club only to be ditched and waiting.
It isn't the walking by me hand in hand with his girlfriend only to give me a curt nod and pinched smile. A look of ohpleasegoddon'ttellherifuckedyou on his ugly face.
It isn't the fact that he hit on me every time I saw him and somehow convinced me he wasn't really an asshole after all.
It isn't that he treated me like shit.
It's that he was really goddamn hot.
